As I sat in the dining hall this morning eating a breakfast of pongal and coffee, that familiar feeling of separation arose. A Dutch guy sat opposite me, who I don’t find very friendly, triggered this. I know I need to see Ram in him, but the fact is I don’t. I widened my field of vision to incorporate everybody in the dining hall, and realized that I don’t see Ram in many of those people either. Do I genuinely see Ram in anybody? I don’t think I even see Ram in myself if I’m honest. At best I see glimmers of Ram in some people some of the time. So, as Swami Muktananda suggested, I took Ram to task ;) I asked why I feel this feeling of separation with many people, and why I do not feel unity with and God in all. It will be interesting to see what comes back. My thoughts then moved on to the important business of naming chickens. It’s never a dull day in my mind. We need to get some more when we get home, preferably 4 of them, so that we can bestow upon them the following genius names - Pongal, Idly, Dosa and.... Ram.
Today is Ram Nam day, like every day, but more.... Swami Muktananda attends all the sessions. I love it because the energy is much higher when he is there. Everyone else attends too – I think they are scared of being found out by him if they don’t. I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of Swami Muktananda either ;) We went to see him yesterday so I could ask a question and Nix could get a mala. I have been reading another of Swami Ramdas’ books in which he describes “Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram” like this:
“Om is impersonal Truth. Sri is Divine Power. Ram is God who is both Truth and Divine Power, personal and impersonal. Jai Ram is Victory to God. When God is victorious in your heart, all darkness born of the ego-sense disappears. There is then nothing but a feast of immortal joy and peace for you.”
I wanted clarification on what personal and impersonal means. He told me that it simply means form and formless, in other words space and objects in space. For me it is helpful to know what the words mean so that I don’t fall into chanting them mechanically. If I meditate on Ram whilst chanting His name then that is God consciousness I guess. I’m not sure why God is commonly referred to as a He. As I spoke to Swami Jyotirmayananda the other day I mentioned to him that I didn’t feel God was a He or She. He agreed and replied:
“God is not a Mr or Mrs. God is a Mystery!”
Succinctly put ;)
We were given a ridiculously sweet desert at lunch today. I think it’s called “jalabi” and to all intents and purposes it’s a hardened version of a koeksister. As I bit into it, I thought to myself that jalablis were an acquired taste. After 3 bites I had acquired the taste. I finished two of them off without any difficulty.
Swami Muktananda is MIA today, so I’ve slacked off on the Mandir Ram Nams in favour of singing my own in our room accompanied by the Ramonium and Nix on Ting Tings.